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#7021 (permalink)      11/10/2014 3:07:12 PM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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JpKrHk
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Random...
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Hogging: (verb) a high fog characterized by never getting off the couch...
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Edit: loL, i was just searching gifs for here... But i think it's best that i refrain myself.

Edited on 11/10/2014 at 3:12 PM. Reason: ...
#7022 (permalink)      11/10/2014 4:19:55 PM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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mickd
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HELP FOR HEROES. SUPPORT OUR TROOPS.
#7023 (permalink)      11/10/2014 4:32:57 PM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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mickd
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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, "Jesus knows you're here."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.




"Yes", the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

The bird responded, "The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."



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#7024 (permalink)      11/10/2014 4:43:40 PM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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viking65
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An old man goes into Victoria's Secret and tells the sales-person behind the counter he needs a present for his wife. "See," explains the man, "It is my fiftieth wedding anniversary and I would like to get something pretty to surprise the little lady, if you know what I mean." When he gets home, his wife asks with a scowl on her face, "Where have you been?" "Surprise," says the old man and hands her a sexy tiny teddy. The wife rips it from his hand and takes it to the bathroom to try it on. She struggles to make it fit, but it is two sizes too small. She take a long time in the bathroom and hopes her husband will lose interest and fall asleep because it is getting late into the evening. Finally she emerges from the bathroom with all the lights out. She is completely nude and pretends to model it in front of him. Her husband, still sitting up, squinting to try and see finally says, "For as much money I spent on it, they could of at least ironed out the wrinkles."


====================================================

Dead Again

During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.

As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

Edited on 11/10/2014 at 4:49 PM. Reason:
https://i.imgur.com/OSS6yni.jpg
#7025 (permalink)      11/10/2014 4:47:45 PM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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viking65
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Devil in the Church

Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.

Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."


=======================================================

Incredible Confession

An old man enters a confessional and proudly exclaims, "Father, I have to tell you what happened to me last night. I'm 90 years old, and I made love to two 18-year-old women for eight hours!"

The stern priest replies, "That is a sin. I will have to give you a penance."

"Father, you can't give me a penance."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm Jewish."

The perplexed Father asks, "Then why are you telling me?"

"I'm telling everyone!"

Edited on 11/10/2014 at 4:50 PM. Reason:
https://i.imgur.com/OSS6yni.jpg
#7026 (permalink)      11/10/2014 5:07:36 PM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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mickd
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"Watch out for the wall!"



"Been married to your sister for over 48 years."



HELP FOR HEROES. SUPPORT OUR TROOPS.
#7027 (permalink)      11/10/2014 9:06:57 PM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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JpKrHk
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I haz understoud nossing, but hey ...
#7028 (permalink)      11/10/2014 11:55:06 PM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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ptitfour
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je peux pas trop rester ici , déja parcque ca prend toute ma rame , 310 mo sur firefox , en peu de temps
en plus je comprend rien comme juste avant , et c'est bon pour personne
et pi trop de gif , tue le gif pour moi , VALA !

a croire que c'est une source intarissable comme la zik .... surtout quand on aime un sujet . perso je croit pas , a par si on les fait sois même .
IMO ...
#7029 (permalink)      11/11/2014 3:09:28 AM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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fujiibear
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JpKrHk wrote:
#7010

erffF, after a few editing...


Wow I hadnt seen that, lucky kitty :))

Sorry I'm completely behind I couldnt load pages yesterday on J.4 Laughs (satellite down) :(

& Vane had put it in Gifs too anyway, the Pedro's gif is everywhere on FastTech now haha ...


Oh damn & I thought I'd found the 'Holy Grail,'

#6996


Extreme Petting :D

Scammers Gotta Scam! How To Keep Idiots In Suspense.'Wink'
#7030 (permalink)      11/11/2014 3:15:38 AM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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fujiibear
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A Loving Wife . . .

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die.

Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.

Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood.

For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work.

And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him.

Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.

Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse.

Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs.

Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television.

And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim.

If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"






"You're going to die," she replied.
Scammers Gotta Scam! How To Keep Idiots In Suspense.'Wink'
#7031 (permalink)      11/11/2014 3:49:16 AM US Central   quote/reply + tips
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fujiibear
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Xmas

Thanks Viking for the video

I actually want to use them for orchids to plant directly in it, any gardeners on here??

no idea if it will work or not but they do have fertiliser added, and as I have lots I will use the rest as you suggest,I've had them for ages & never worked out how much water to use.

They look pretty cool though

Thanks for your help
Scammers Gotta Scam! How To Keep Idiots In Suspense.'Wink'