You're all amateurs, 81 days, half way through the twelfth week, soon the 7 millionth second since placing my order would have passed by me without any celebration or commiseration! My package has been to 5 airports no less and to 2 of those 5 airports not less than 5 times each! You think you deserve anything except a nicotine salty tear, no you deserve to stop complaining and grow a Zen like calm until you have forgotten about your order and moved on in life knowing that there is no package! It doesn't matter, when this finally happens, only then your package will arrive and like the first cherry blossoms in Spring a beautiful surprise it shall be!

Shut up and Zen!